Opening my soul - 252.2 lbs

Today on Facebook I opened a door to a side of me that very few have ever seen. I weigh 252.2 pounds and am very unhappy with my weight. Don't get me wrong I am happy with everything else in my life except for the challenges of being heavy. My heart hurts when I look in the mirror and I see the skin hanging on my belly. I can't stand the sight of my butt and my thighs. I have saggy arms that I want to hide. I think that one of my fears of loosing weight is still having skin that hangs all over. I am 33 years old and I hate feeling like this. When my husband looks at me and says I'm beautiful I want to feel like I am beautiful. I feel like I never have time to really focus on me. I have time to start stuff but I have a hard time finishing stuff. I have done 12 half marathons and one full marathon. I live about an hour away from most of my friends and find myself wishing that some of them would come up my way to get exercise. There is no gym in this town. The high school has a weight room that doesn't have a whole lot of equipment that works. I don't know where to go or what to do. I am joining a weight loss challenge and I am hoping that will help with me loose weight and stay motivated. I feel so alone in this and hope to find some true friends along the way...