Judged in the Gym

The other day one of the pages I follow on Facebook mentioned how they dislike the women in the gym that make fun of the heavier people in the gym. I am one of the heavier people in my gym and I have seen those looks. It hurts even the seasoned gym goer. Why am I a "seasoned" gym goer if I'm heavy? I have no clue how to answer that question. I have had a gym membership since 2008 and I skip months at times, normally during hunting season and more so during the winter. I also live in a town that is an hour drive from my gym. I know how to lift and I have endurance on the cardio equipment. I am just not fast and yes I do turn a pretty shade of red when I do exercise. Now back to the rant I was talking about. January 6th I stepped into the gym for the first time in two months. I went to the bike in the women's workout room area and climbed on. Out of the corner of my eye I caught a girl that wasn't giving me a very nice look. I wanted to slink into the corner. I felt like I didn't belong there. There are many times that has happened to me at the gym and on the road and trails while running. What makes people act like that? I have wanted to tell ladies who have stared "Don't worry you won't catch my fat."
Maybe it's just how I perceive people or maybe it has something to do with the folks that make the resolution to exercise more but eventually stop going to the gym. I know I have never wanted to not be seen more then this year. I wish I was invisible but there are times I do feel invisible when I want to bee seen. I can do almost anything I set my mind to but feel alone when I accomplish something that was major to me. I'll write more about that later this week.

Gym time

Today I went to they gym while my husband picked up the kids from the ex. Oh my what a wake up call that was. I spent at least a solid hour exercising. For the first time I tried the stair stepper. It was difficult to make it 5 minutes but next time I will be doubling that! So I accomplished today...

-40 minutes bike
-20 minutes weights
-5 minutes stair stepper
-10 minutes rowing machine

When I saw myself in the mirror while using the weights I almost cried. In the past 6 months I have put on 20 pounds bringing my weight to where it is today. Three months ago I was running a lot and weight training a couple times a week. Then I got lazy... Seeing myself hurt a lot. I wanted to cry but all I could think about was how I am going to succeed!